Jackass Jamboree

This was the second trip that Marfield planned. At least, that he included me on. He wanted a guys’ weekend in the mountains. We would head up there midday.

The morning of the trip dawned clear and warm, a good sign. I was going to take my own car up as part of the American Freedom of Movement mindset. Besides, it would allow me to finish the work I needed to do and then leave when I was comfortable with it.

Midway in the morning, Grandma and Daughter tell me that since some of the guys are carpooling, I should just carpool with them, because the family could sure use my car this weekend. That made sense. And besides, when the women in the family tell you how it’s to be done, that’s generally how it goes. However, my timetable was then completely jam-whacked. Hurry, get work done. Finish one project. Another. Sign off. Make and take calls. Had done enough, but not as much as I wanted, when one of the guys, Brevert, calls, “We’re ready! Get over here!”

I negotiated to get picked up instead and used the remaining minutes to do the last-second things that I could. Mario drives up to pick me up, and the mighty convoy of two cars assembles. We have walkie-talkies because cell phone reception is impossible on the mountain roads. Brady, in the lead car, says we’re going to Cheap Burger, pick up food there, and eat in the cars on the way up. Ugh. I eat fast food only under duress or when there’s no other choice. This was the latter.

Brady and Brevert are in the lead car. Mario and I are following. The four of us get in a radio exchange regarding the map to this remote campsite, with Brady and Brevert holding the map, and we berate them as hopeless wimps for needing a map. Maybe they should put it back in their purse. Up ahead at the stoplight, Brevert retaliates to our comment by dropping a map out his window. We stop and pick it up (this is in downtown traffic) just in time for the red light to stop us, so we wait for the green and then take off, now a couple minutes behind them.

“Did you get the map?” Brevert’s voice crackles on the radio.
“What map?” I say, cleverly.
“I dropped the map at Main and Locust.”
“Oh,” I say. “Okay, we’re swinging back to get it.” We continued on to the Cheap Burger, the map in my lap.

At the drive-through at the Cheap Burger, we ended up two cars behind them. We continue our campaign of disinformation to let them think we’re hopelessly behind. Brady is annoyed and saying, “Where are they? How are they going to catch up?” After some grumpy talk, Brevert turns and says, “Uhh… isn’t that them behind us?”

So this is the first high-spirited 10 minutes, and we weren’t even properly out of the starting gate. If I stayed at this story long enough to tell the notable parts of the trip, you’d sign off on the website as hopeless blogorrhea, and maybe you have already. But what followed for the next 24+ hours was an impossibly fun time of practical jokes on each other, admiring some very nice surroundings, ziplining back and forth across a river, company with some great guys, having a glass of beer shoved in our hands as soon as we showed up at campsite, heart-to-heart talks, shallow ribald zingers, a steady stream of alcohol, general unhygienic things which will not be discussed here, merciless humor, laughter that never ended, and the atavism of Guys In Nature.

Marfield, you done good on this one, buddy. Guys, it was a joy and a privilege. Can’t wait for the next time, gents.

— Grandpa


  1. love it grandpa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! u guys tell the best stories!! <3 🙂


  1. […] And we did. — Grandpa Filed Under: High Adventure Tagged With: guy trip, Jackass Jamboree, wild pigs […]

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